God Only Knows...

…what I’d be without you.

Do you have a Beach Boys song stuck in your head now? Thanks to my wonderful father, I do!

That particular song holds a particularly special place in my heart since it was the father/daughter dance at my wedding. I spent months looking for the perfect song. I kept picking really cliché ones that everyone picks and that really didn’t capture the essence of my relationship with my dad. My brilliant mother finally recommended I pick something we both actually listen to, and so we ended up with “God Only Knows” by The Beach Boys.

Dad brought me up on The Beach Boys, Gary Lewis & The Playboys, Herman’s Hermits, Simon & Garfunkel, The Lovin’ Spoonful, Tommy Roe, The Foundations, countless one hit wonders, and well…I missing quite a few, but if you have similar music taste, you get the point. Those are the songs that just sound like childhood to me. Mom probably would like to take credit for some of it, but Dad was always the radio controller, music packer when we’d go on road trips, and King of the Mix Tape.

Dad knows everything. You would think after 26 years, I would outgrow the innocent, child-like thinking that my dad is a king and knows everything, but he really does know everything. If you need to know how to change a tire, who played 2^nd base for the Red Sox in 1968, any number of movie quotes, how to pick a good spouse, how to get a room of faculty members to stop talking, or even what you’re thinking right now, my dad knows. And no, your eyes are not deceiving you. He knows what you’re thinking. Really. He reads minds.

Actually, that last one can be incredibly inconvenient…and it can be incredibly annoying. I can’t tell you the number of times I heard him say, “Don’t even think about it,” to me or my brother growing up – even when we weren’t doing anything wrong. He just knew when we were thinking about it could just sense what was going to happen. He always said it when I hadn’t said anything. He just knew exactly when I was about to do something really stupid.

With that said, Dad always knows when to speak up and when to let someone make his own mistake. And as much as he loved me and my brother, he was great at letting us feel a little pain from making our mistakes, but only when it was necessary.

When I was in college, there was a guy I was dating that was completely wrong for me. We broke up and got back together more times than I would like to admit. I could usually talk my mom into thinking he had changed by what I chose to tell her. Dad would sit and listen to me, a knowing look in his eyes, sigh, and just say, “Okay. We’ll see.” In the back of my head, I knew exactly what he was trying to tell me. I knew I shouldn’t have been dating him. Dad would stay quiet, let me make my mistake, and when it would fall apart, he was always there to help pick me back up without saying, “I told you so.”

I can tell you that when I met my husband, he was fully on board from the first time I told him about him. I came home from a two-week trip to Oregon babbling about an amazing guy I’d started dating. I still remember the look on his face as he sat and listened to me talk about him for the first time in person. While I’d been away, Jake, who at the time was my boyfriend and I had sent my parents and brother a video saying that we’d gotten together and were in love. Dad always says the way Jake waved at the end of the video is what gave it away that he was the one. I have no idea why it was that particular gesture, but Dad was on board.

Dad provided some of my most favorite and treasured childhood memories. He’s the one who taught me about baseball and golf and how to fish. He was awesome at playing Mr. Mom when my mom went out of town – even when I wasn’t so pleasant. I would always cry when my mom left, but my dad was always un-phased. He would take me and my brother on little picnics or to do something fun like go to the zoo or on a walk or we’d watch a fun movie. He would also do my hair before school when mom was out of town. Poor Dad. He would spend an hour getting my tangle of curls into ponytail to have it fall apart in 3 seconds. I helped out a lot. Usually I’d have some lovely comment like, “That’s not how Mommy does it…” I’m sure by that time he probably wanted to punch me for saying that, but instead he would say something funny that would make me laugh and probably pee in my pants.

I’ve always loved my relationship with my dad. When I was a tiny tot, I used to follow him around the house early in the morning. He would get up and feed the dog and get breakfast and I would follow close behind. I’d always giggle as he would purposely do funny maneuvers that I’d have to copy. I’m sure to nonexistent on-lookers, it looked peculiar, but it was just one of the many things that makes him so wonderful.

His sense of humor is on the drier sarcastic side. The kind that sends you into heaps of laughter that also might send you to the bathroom if you aren’t careful. Recently, he was sitting up at the breakfast table reading his morning paper and wearing boxers that look incredibly similar to a pair of seersucker shorts he has. My mom saw them at a quick glance and commented that she loves my dad’s summer shorts. Without skipping a beat or looking up from the paper, my dad said, “Well, I like to call them my underwear, but sure.”

Dad has always 100% supportive of my sweet mother. When she stayed at home, when she went on trips, when she decided to become a real estate agent when I was in high school, you name it. He would talk to me about how important it is to talk to your spouse with respect. I know I briefly touched on my post on Mother’s Day that my parents’ marriage was top priority for my mom. The same goes for my dad. Dad set a pretty high standard for any man I was ever going to think about marrying. I was lucky enough to find a man that surpassed any dream I’d ever had. But back to Dad, in everything he does and says, it’s so clear he loves my mom more than anyone else. Yes, of course he loves me and my brother, but he’s only in love with one person. And that one person always comes first. It’s done humbly and quietly.

Although I never would have admitted this in my teenage years, Dad was always an expert in the dating department. I can still hear him telling me over and over, “Pay attention to what he does, not what he says.” Once upon a time, I was an expert at falling for men that never followed through on their word. There was one in particular (already mentioned early), who would sweet talk his way back into my life and then wouldn’t call me for a week. I tried to ignore it. Actually, I was really good at ignoring it. We dated on and off for almost two years before I told him to stop calling me. Every time he didn’t follow through, I could hear my dad’s voice telling me those words. At this point, I’d get really annoyed and shove it to the back of my head. In the end, though, Dad’s words are what finally made me call it quits.

Although my parents only have two biological children, I can tell you that my dad has hundreds upon hundreds of children. He graduated college in 1975 and immediately became an English teacher. Eventually he added in the title of “coach,” and started coaching the sports he loved playing when he was in school. Then, in 1986, he became English teacher and Middle School Principal. Finally, in 1996, he became a headmaster where he’s been ever since. I can tell you it’s a tough job and one he is well cut out for. He still has former students that are coming to him for help on things that have nothing to do with academics. Although I never know names or situations, I do know from my own experience that these students are going to the right person for those situations.

Now that I’m older, it’s even more evident to me how important dads are to daughters. I’m incredibly grateful I have such a good one. He brought me up well, has always been there for me, and has always been a wonderful rock in the middle of a storm. Dad taught me a lot about life. Not only that, he has taught me what a dad is supposed to be like. He taught me what a husband was supposed to be like. This wasn’t done by sitting me down and explaining it, but by simply living it every day. He’s the true example of his own quote, “Pay attention to what he does, not what he says.” Although, what he says is always loving, compassionate, and very often incredibly humorous. He’s the best dad a girl could ask for, and I’m very grateful he’s mine.  

And without any hesitancy, I can most definitely say, "God only knows what I’d be without you."

Happy Father’s Day.