Last year, I asked a question that has proved to be an
important one.
What is the key to slowing down time?
When we’re children, it feels like time is just some weird
entity; a grown-up thing that we have to learn how to measure with a big round
race, hands, and a bunch of numbers. As far as time itself, it takes forever
when you’re a kid.
I remember once when I was three, I was sitting in my living
room playing with a doll and I suddenly wondered what it would be like to be
10. Ten. A two-digit number. I remember I couldn’t fathom it. I don’t really
know why, but I knew that moment would stick with me forever.
Over the years, it’s taught me different lessons at
different points in my life. But most recently, it’s taught me that living in
the moment is one of the most important things you can learn.
In fact, I had to make it a New Year’s resolution this year
so that I would actually work on it. Over the year, I’ve dug up some important
items that have helped teach me this lesson in more ways than one.
The first one took place right after I began dating Jake,
who is now my husband. If you don’t know our story, the Reader’s Digest version
is that we met, fell in love and began dating 3 days later, were long-distance
for 11 months while I finished my undergraduate degree and then we both moved
to Boston. Jake proposed, we got married 6 months later. Now we’ve been married
for almost 5 years.
Back to the lesson I learned, once Jake dropped the bomb
that we were going to get married 3 days after we met, the marriage talk came
on fast and strong. By the end of the week it seemed we couldn’t keep the word
out of a single sentence. While I was excited, Jake was the first real
boyfriend I’d had. Something about it sort of felt like I’d never driven a car
and someone had just handed me the keys to a Ferrari and told me to drive it on
the highway. I had no idea what I was doing, and there was something about it
that I just wasn’t enjoying. I quickly told Jake that I wanted to enjoy each
piece of our relationship. I didn’t want everything on rush-order.
With that, the marriage talk dialed back and we started
living in the now. We began truly dating each other. That carried on to our
engagement and it’s now been carried into our marriage. In fact, we talk about
that conversation when one of us starts focusing too much on the future and not
enough on what we have right now.
So, why am I writing on this topic right now? Well, it all
started a couple of weeks ago.
I love every season of the year. In fact, the very divided
and pronounced seasons is one of the things I loved about living in Boston. I
love the big, blooming trees that are every shade of pink that you could
imagine that come with spring. I love the warmth of the summer months – going to
the beach and the smell of coconut everything. I love the most gorgeous shades
of red, orange, and yellow that come with fall – the longer shadows and the
cooler weather. And last, I adore the cold winters blanketed with the most
beautiful layers of snow you could ever imagine.
As such, I love celebrating each season as it comes.
However, in the past few years, I’ve noticed my self-control with my first PSL*
of the season has inched its way up sooner and sooner each year. First it was
September 1st, and then it was whenever the earliest date Starbucks
would give it to me, which has now usually been in August. This year, I made
myself wait until the actual first day of fall. I knew it would be hard since
everyone and their mother starts talking about it the second Starbucks puts it
on the menu, but I actually waited until September 22.
That first cup was one of the most delicious of the season.
There was something deeply satisfying about reaching this small goal. Plus,
waiting for it prolonged summer. I found myself loving a fruit salad I invented
over Labor Day that consisted of strawberries, green grapes, watermelon, and
nectarines. It was divine, summery heaven. It made me appreciate those last few
days instead of reminiscing and wishing it were already fall and taking a trip
to Trader Joe’s to stock up on all-things-pumpkin.
Imagine my surprise when the day after my first beloved PSL
of the season I turned on the radio on my way to work and they were talking
about Christmas. CHRISTMAS! On September 23.
Now, I’m no Grinch. I LOVE Christmas. Believe me, I do. It
is hands-down my favorite holiday. Christmas is also a full 3 months away.
That’s an entire season away! It’s just barely fall! I’m just getting into
cooler weather being a good thing. Bring on the football games, apple and
pumpkin picking, Halloween, cozy mugs, and all the good shows coming back and
filling up my lonely DVR!
I love you, Christmas, but wait your turn! We haven’t even
enjoyed Thanksgiving or Halloween or even October, for that matter! As such, I
would like to celebrate one holiday at a time.
I’m not saying don’t plan. Plan away! I have nothing against
organization. But, live in the moment, too. If you don’t, you’re never really
all that happy.
Perhaps we should all just take a moment and breathe in the
right now. For me, I know this time in my life is fleeting. At some point, Jake
and I will have children. I will be overcome with joy when that day comes, but
I want to enjoy the precious moments that are just the two of us. I love only
having the two of us to think about right now. I love late-night talks and
perfecting our marriage. I love thinking about taking trips together,
perfecting our budget, living in an apartment that’s not particularly
kid-friendly, and just enjoying this part of our marriage. I want to be content
in the life I actually have…not the next stage of it.
I challenge you to do the same. I promise, there is so much
you will start appreciating that you don’t even see right now. Don’t get me
wrong, it’s not always easy, but it’s 100% worth it.
*That’s Pumpkin Spice Latte, for you non-coffee people.
