This past weekend, my husband and I drove to my birth city
to watch one of my oldest and dearest friends get married. I don’t know about you, but I don’t
always realize the beauty of a moment as it's happening. In fact, one of my
goals for 2016 was to take more time to live in the moment instead of
always trying to plan ahead or trying to relive something good from the past. I
do more of the former than the latter.
But as I sat in the pew at St. Francis of Assisi Church in uptown New Orleans, the beauty, clarity, and meaning of the moment all hit me
like a big Mac truck. I had
just stood up as the bride walked in when it all hit me. I’ve been friends with
Emily since kindergarten.
That factoid seems to roll off my tongue every time I talk
about her. However, the magnitude of
how long this friendship has lasted is what really hit me. I don’t remember the
day I met her or the first day of kindergarten all that well, but when I think
of any given day or any given memory I have between the ages of 5 and 8, she’s
in most of them. Most of them took place at school or one of our 8976987699506 sleepovers we had when we lived in the same zip code.
I moved from New Orleans to Houston after the second grade,
and I still remember when Emily and her mom came to say goodbye before we
pulled out of the driveway for the last time at our old house in Metairie. It was by far the hardest good-bye I had to make.
At the time, I had no idea how challenging the transition
would be – or how permanent of the move would eventually feel. It hadn’t
really hit me yet that New Orleans would no longer be my home. In fact, it wasn't really until the beginning of the new school year when I actually felt it. At the beginning of the summer,
I was just excited for something new, but I hadn’t really grasped what that
meant.
What I also didn’t consider were the friends I was leaving
behind. I didn’t do a fantastic job at keeping in touch with anyone, but thankfully,
Emily was good at it...or made herself good at it after I left. I remember talking to her on the phone on my
birthday, writing each other letters, and then there were the few times I got to visit over the years. It took a
few years before I had an excuse to actually visit Emily in person, but when I did,
it most certainly included spending the night at Emily’s the way we always had
before.
Over the years, it didn’t matter if we hadn’t talked in
months, we always called without fail on each other’s birthdays. I remember
even on my 16th, Emily called me from a bus. At the time she was a
cheerleader and they were either traveling to or from a football game that involved an
overnight. I couldn’t believe that in the midst of her busy schedule, she still
remembered that it was my birthday. I remember being hit by the fact that I
would always be friends with her when that phone call came in.
A few months later, I got to go visit her for a high school
semi-formal. It involved one of our many sleepovers, going to classes with her at my old school,
driving around in her car and reminiscing about our K-1-2 days, and that particular trip, she
introduced me to Burberry Brit – a fragrance I still wear today. I think of that trip every time I wear it.
I got to see her a bit more during my senior year of high school
when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans and she had to spend several months living in The
Woodlands (just north of Houston). I had high hopes that she would somehow have
to live at my house and go to my school, but unfortunately that did not happen and
she was placed in a little north of me. Still, having her an hour away was slightly better than the 5.5 hours it took to get to New Orleans.
A couple of years later, while we were in college, it had felt like it had been too
long since we’d seen each other and so we planned out a weekend and I drove out to
Baton Rouge. She was going to LSU at the time and was going to be
there for the summer. The drive from Houston to Baton Rouge was the longest
trip I had ever taken by myself in a car. I remember being slightly nervous,
but being able to see Emily was well worth that trip. Nothing particularly
monumental happened, but I was so happy to catch up, stay up all night and
talk about anything and everything, and finally meet her boyfriend, Alex (who she just married this weekend!). It’s a trip I’ve never forgotten, and I can't drive through Baton Rouge (or pass the Dalrymple exit) without thinking of that weekend.
After I met Jake, I had a laundry list of people that I
wanted to call, but she was very close to the top of the list. I’m pretty sure
I asked her to be a bridesmaid in the same breath, and I was so grateful she
said “yes” and was up on the alter with me when Jake and I said our vows.
When Emily’s text came in last summer saying that she and Alex were engaged and thinking of an April wedding, I don’t think it was even a
question when I discussed it with Jake. I’m pretty sure I just yelled into the
next room, “We’re going to New Orleans in April!”
And now, sitting on the pew watching her take her own vows
four years after I took mine, I couldn’t help but be grateful for the magnitude of the
moment and for this friendship that has lasted 23 years. It hit me so much that
we had both been at these monumental moments in each other’s lives and I felt
so grateful for her friendship, I can’t even begin to put it into words.
It’s so important to take a moment and just realize the
beauty in every moment. Be grateful for moments as they are happening. The
ability to live in the moment is something wonderful and important that comes
so easily when we’re children and everything is new and you’re under the care
of adults that are taking care of everything for you. However, don’t lose that
child-like innocence. Don’t let the weight of adulthood beat out the beauty of
taking in each moment as it’s happening – however big or small that moment is.
Congratulations, Emily and Alex!
